In praying for you wife, there are five main areas that you want to cover in prayer: her spiritual life; her emotional life; her marital life; her motherhood; and her work.
1. Her Spiritual Life- This is first and foremost, because everything else flows out of our relationship with God. Since Jesus says that “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples,” you need to pray that your wife is spending time with the Lord and guarding that time with jealousy. You also need to pray that she would “grow in the grace and knowledge of God” (1 Peter 3:18). Pray for her spiritual enlightenment and that she would grow in her knowledge of the will of God (Eph. 1:17-18; Col. 1:9). Since pride and hard-heartedness are poison to our relationship to God and others, pray that she would be “poor in spirit” and mourn over her sin (Matt. 5:3-4). Also, since she is Christ’s disciple, pray that she would take up her cross daily, love Jesus supremely, and forsake all in following him. Finally, pray that she would consider herself dead to sin and alive to God, and that she would present herself to God as a living sacrifice (Romans 6:11; 12:1-2). Surely, there is more you can pray about, but what I have suggested is a good starting point.
2. Her Emotional Life- Here, you can pray that she would have peace, and that she would not be moved or controlled by fear, but that she would be strong and courageous (Josh. 1:6-9). Pray against despair, or any negative emotions that you see her struggling with. Pray that she would feel secure in your love and in the marriage relationship. Pray that she would not be ruled by her emotions, but that she would be filled and ruled by the Spirit (Eph. 5:18-19; Gal. 5:22-23).
3. Her Martial Life- Pray that God would empower her to be the helper that he has called her to be (Gen. 2:20-25). Pray for a gentle, quiet, submissive, supportive spirit, and against an arrogant, controlling, and rebellious one (1 Peter 3:3-6; Eph. 5:22-24). Pray that the two of you would be of one mind and that you would walk in unity (Gen. 2:20-25: this is part of being “one flesh”). Pray that she would delight in sex and find her sexual fulfillment and desire in you, and that she would not be allured into any type of adultery. (Pretty much all of Song of Solomon!). Pray that she would do you good and not evil (Proverbs 31:12).
4. Her Motherhood- Pray that she would succeed in nurturing the home and that she would be diligent in meeting the needs of her children. Pray that she would have the strength to be the godly mother and example that she is called to be. Pray that she would have the wisdom she needs to impart knowledge and instruction to her children, and that they would rise up and call her blessed (Proverbs 31). Pray that her children will respect her and honor her (Exodus 20:12).
5. Her Work- Whether your wife works outside the home or is a stay at home mom, she still works. I heard someone say one time that if a stay at home mom or dad was compensated for the amount of work they did, they would make well over 100K a year! Pray that your wife would take delight in her work (Ecc. 5:18). Pray that she would work as unto the Lord and do it for his glory (Col. 3:23-24). Finally, pray that she would make the most of every opportunity to share the gospel, and that she would be salt and light (Eph 5:15-16; Matt. 5:13-14).
Now, I would like to touch briefly on praying with your wife. As a husband and priest of your home, praying with your wife and teaching her the word is one of the most holy endeavors that you can pursue. Ephesians 5:25-27 says “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless.” The idea here is that just as Christ is the sanctifying agent of the church, the husband is to be the sanctifying agent of the wife.
One of the main ways that we as men love our wives as Christ loves the church is by giving ourselves whole heartedly to washing her with the water of the word by praying for her and teaching her. Men, begin to create a secure and caring atmosphere in your home by asking your wives what they need prayer for, listening, and then praying with them in that moment. Also, everything that I suggested in the first part of this blog should not only be prayed in silence for your wives, but prayed vocally with them. When you do these things, you are fulfilling your role as the prophet and priest of your home by nurturing your wife in her relationship with Christ.
For the next post, I will give some guidance for how wives can pray for their husbands.