As a parent of younger children myself, I echo those concerns/questions. In this post, I would like to give you some pointers that will help guide you through these areas. .
Let's look at the first question: "How do I know of God is drawing my child?" Based on the work of the Holy Spirit as He is revealed in Scripture, I think there are several things that can help us discern when God is drawing our children to salvation.
First, there is illumination. The Holy Spirit is the one who reveals all truth. One of the things He will reveal is sin. Therefore, one of the first things to look for is if your child understands what "sin" is. When a child starts to understand that their sin is first and foremost against God, this can be one sign that God is working in their heart.
Not only will there be illumination about what sin is, but also about who Jesus is and what He has done on the cross. A person cannot be saved apart from the revelation and understanding of who Christ is and why He had to die.
Second, there will start to be conviction of sin. As parents, we have all been in a situation where when we correct our child, there is absolutely no conviction or understanding of their sin in light of God. They are usually sorry because they got caught, or sorry because they upset mommy or daddy. In fact, many times they aren't even really sorry at all! Many times they just apologize because it is what they have been taught to do. However, when true conviction starts to set in, the disposition and demeanor of your child will change. Sorrow from the heart sets in as they start to realize their guilt.
Finally, one other indicator is questions. When God is drawing a person, especially a child, questions will come. Questions about sin, Jesus, salvation,etc. Questions such as "what does it mean to be a Christian?" or "How do I obey God?" or "How do I love God?", etc.
Let's transition now to the second question. How can you, as a parent, tell if genuine conversion has happened in your child? First, we as parents should be open to the fact that God can definitely give younger children illumination, conviction, regeneration, fatih, etc. Second, there is no set "age" when a child can and will respond to the gospel. Therefore, we as parents need to be diligently praying for the conversion of our children.
One of the things that can make it difficult to discern if conversion has happened is the child's own confession. What I mean is that there are times when a child can answer all the right questions in the right manner. This is one reason why I don't like using that approach. Rather, get the child to express their understanding of sin, Jesus, etc in their own words. Don't lead them on; instead, ask them to explain to you what they understand sin to be; what they understand about the death and resurrection of Jesus and why it was necessary.
So, how can we tell if conversion has taken place?
First, there is conviction of sin. Salvation doesn't happen without repentance.When a child gets to the point that they are truly convicted of their sin before God, this is a good sign that regeneration is taking place. Second, there is faith. They truly understand the gospel message and their need for Christ. Because of that, they express the desire to believe in Jesus for the forgiveness of their sin. Furthermore, there is also ongoing conviction. If conversion has taken place, your child's attitude towards sin will be different. Now, there will be genuine conviction over what they have done wrong. For us, this has been one of the biggests things we have noticed in Emma Kate since she professed to be Christ's disciple.
Another mark of conversion in a child will be a different attitude towards Scripture. This is something we have noticed with Owen. Before, in family devotions, we could hardly get him to pay attention. Now, since he has professed that he is Christ's disciple, we can't get him to stop asking questions long enough to answer them!
Other indicators can be a change in demeanor, disposition, or attitude. Some of these things will not be immediate, but as time progresses, if conversion has taken place, you will notice a change in these areas as well.
Many times, parents are often hesitant about their child's conversion, and for good reason. It is definitely not something you want to be presumptuous about. However, there have been times that parents have mistaken childishness for lack of conversion. Kids are still going to be kids. They aren't going to clean their room right, they are going to spill their food, they are not always going to be careful, and they are going to still do many foolish things. They are not going to want to sit around and read the bible all day and pray. They are still going to be interested in movies, games, and sports. This does not mean that they have not experienced regeneration and conversion. That is why it is so important for us as parents to separate childishness from the fruits of conversion in our children.
If you are a parent, and you are wondering if your child has experienced genuine conversion or not, my advice to you is just to be patient and observe. Keep praying for them, loving them, and instructing them in the faith. Take note of the things we talked about in the post, and God will grant you the wisdom and discernment you need.