Moral conformity says “I want my child to be ___________, therefore he or she must do _____________. Gospel centered parenting takes on an entirely different ideology. Gospel centered parenting understands that only the gospel is the power of God to salvation, and that it is only the truths revealed in that relationship that can sanctify and train the heart to love God and live righteously. What does this look like? Let me give you an example that happened this week in my own home.
Owen is five. Need I say more :)? On a serious note, he has had a real issue with whining that past week. If any of you out there are like me, the effects of whining on the nerves are like the raking of fingernails on a chalk board are to the ears. It gets old quick. At times, I am so tempted to say, “Owen, stop whining. It’s wrong and obnoxious and nobody wants to hear it. It shows a rebellious heart and an ungrateful spirit. Change your attitude.” There is no gospel in that. No training, no teaching, and no power.
Rather than do this, here is how our conversation went:
Me: Owen, when God the Father asked Jesus to do something, like prompt his heart to heal people or teach people, did Jesus whine and complain and throw his hands in the air and wiggle his body all around out of anger?
Owen: (laughing) No.
Me: No, He didn't. The bible says that Jesus delights to do the will of God. Do you know what delight means?
Owen: No.
Me: Delight means to take pleasure in. Jesus loved his Father and delighted to do His will so much, that He made the will of the Father His own. Does that make sense?
Owen: Yes, daddy.
Me: Did you act the way Jesus did when I told you to pick up the cloths?
Owen: (with a sad face) No, daddy.
Me: As Jesus’ disciple, He wants you to love Him with all your heart. Part of what the gospel means is that we have been saved from our sin and our own selfishness so that we can delight to do God’s will. Part of God’s will for you is that you obey your mother and father. As Jesus disciple, are you delighting in God’s will by happily obeying me?
Owen: No, daddy.
Me: What do you need to do?
Owen: Pray and ask God to forgive me and to help me have the right heart.
If I would have responded the way I felt like responding, I would have missed out on an opportunity to show the gospel to Owen and how it comes into play in his daily life. As parents, things can get overwhelming at times. We get emotionally drained and physically exhausted, and it becomes so easy to exert our authority without training the heart of our children. We must be alert enough to stop ourselves in the moment, turn our attention to God, and pray for the grace and wisdom to address the issue with the gospel, and not with our own depravity.