One of the things you need to be aware of as a parent of teenagers is that you are the most influential person in their life, and that means that your own personal holiness and walk with God is going to be tremendously impactful. It is going to be impossible to disciple your teenagers if you are not seeking after God and seeking to live out his truth in your life. Teenagers may not be very discerning at times, but one of the things they can pick out is a hypocrite or a mere rule follower. Therefore, as a parent, your walk with God needs to be robust and stellar. Here are some things you can focus on as a parent in your own life.
1. Study the word- Don’t just read it, study it! Dig deep and mediate on what you read. Make sure your children know that you are doing this and that this is the most important time of your day. Not that you are trying to be a show off about it, but that you want your children to see and know that this is a vital part of your life.
2. Be pure in your thoughts- Colossians 3:1-3 speaks of setting our mind on things above. Thoughts precede actions, and when wrong thoughts are verbalized or acted upon, an example is being set and an atmosphere being made in the home. Thus, our thoughts need to be in line with God’s word so that the overflow of our lives will be Christ-like.
3. Have a godly attitude- Paul reminds us in Philippians 2 that our attitude should be like that of Christ, who emptied himself, humbled himself, and was obedient. If a parent is arrogant, overly critical, selfish, and materialistic, these attitudes are going to be passed on to your children, because more than likely, what you value, they will value. These attitudes can also create a negative atmosphere in the home, and stifle the spiritual growth of our children. Rather, as a parent, we should model sacrifice, humility, love, patience, and obedience to God. When we are controlled by the Spirit in this way, the attitude and character of Christ is reflected onto our children. This is of extreme importance since much of the attitudes that your teenagers will be around and encounter in the world fit the mold the selfishness, pride, and negativity.
4. Be pure in your speech- The words that we speak to our teenagers can either encourage or devastate. Since you are the parent and since your influence is paramount, what you say and how you say it is detrimental to the spiritual development of your children. When you speak, whether it is to them or whether you are speaking to someone else in their presence, it should be done in a godly manner. This means that it needs to be done with the right attitude, and it needs to be done with biblical wisdom. This also means that both the spirit and content of our speech need to be biblically based. Encourage your children by speaking the gospel into their life and showing how your relationship with God relates to all of life. Build them up, be patient with them, and guide them in the right direction. And by all means, be honest and fulfill your promises; such a thing speaks volumes in the life of a teenager.
There are more, but hopefully this will get you on the right track personally. With these also comes honoring God in your actions, how you spend your money, what you do with your time, etc. As a parent, you need to be extremely conscious with how you are portraying Jesus to your teenagers. Do you have to be perfect? No, not by any means; and admit your faults when you are wrong, it builds credibility and shows humility. What it does mean is that as parents, we have to be intentional in reflecting the gospel in all we do. In the next post, I will give some pointers specifically to dads.