First, we need to preach the biblical gospel. This may seem strange to mention, but it is the very point in which we go astray. Have you ever noticed how we make following Jesus and becoming a Christian easier than Jesus did? What I mean is that when we search the Gospels, Jesus' call to discipleship and to be His follower was demanding. Yes, salvation is a free gift, but it cost us everything. Jesus says in Luke 14 that in order to be His follower, we have to be devoted to Him above all others, take up our cross, and be willing to forsake everything. The gospel message is that we are all sinners separated from the wrath of God and worthy of His judgment, but that Jesus took the penalty of our sins upon Himself on the cross, and rose again from the grave. The response is now repentance from sin and faith in the work of Christ. This repentance and faith requires an abandonment of the old, and an embracing of what Jesus lays out in Luke 14.
What is my point? My point is that the gospel is not as easy as ABC: Admit that you are a sinner, Believe that Christ is God's Son and accept his forgiveness, Confess your faith in Jesus as Savior and Lord to others. I am convinced that this type of gospel presentation has lead to more false converts that true converts. The emphasis is that all one needs to do is take these three steps, pray a "sinners prayer," and all is well.
This is not the gospel.
When we preach the gospel to our children, we do not, and I repeat do not, need to dumb it down or make it more palatable. We do not need to "tone down" the concepts of sin and God's wrath. Unless they understand this, then the good news of the gospel is not really good news. The death and resurrection of Jesus make no sense apart from the wretched condition of humanity. God's love is not great where His wrath is not feared. They need to understand that they have sinned against God and are in need of His forgiveness. We also need to tell them that though salvation is free, it cost everything. It is not just saying a prayer, but embracing a person, namely Jesus, as Lord. In a way that they can understand, we need to explain what this means. If they are not ready to do this, or if they do not understand this (in some way) then we do not need to coerce them in praying any type of prayer. Rather, we need to encourage them to think about it more and to ask more questions.
We must also be aware of equating moralism with the gospel message. This means that we as parents have to do more than teach our children to live by biblical principles. If we neglect the gospel and just preach the moralism of the bible, we will create a race of Pharisees who look good on the outside, but are sons and daughters of hell on the inside.
We must also be aware of presenting the gospel as a life-enhancement message to our kids. We all want to comfort our children with God's word when they are struggling or having a hard time. That is commendable. What we don't want to do is to tell them that their problems will be better is they would just turn to Jesus and embrace Him as savior and Lord. Jesus is not about affirming our self esteem or solving our problems. His message, the gospel message, is one of reconciliation with God, not of making life easier.
Finally, we need to abandon the phrase "ask Jesus into your heart." First, never are we commanded to do this as it relates to salvation. Second, it is not a biblical concept. Third, "asking Jesus into your heart" does not bring salvation. Such a phrase and presentation includes nothing of Christ's death, burial, and resurrection, his affirmation of Lordship, his deity, and his uniqueness as the incarnate Son of God. There is no emphasis on sin, repentance, or the nature of salvation in general. The main problem I have with "asking Jesus into your heart"is, as one of my friends has stated, "it shifts the focus away from Jesus Christ's atoning work onto the child's subjective work or experience."
A few closing thoughts. When we preach the biblical gospel to children, never underestimate what God can do in the heart of a child. Just because there has not been an emotional response or tears, does not mean that God is not working in the heart of that child or that he or she is not experiencing conviction. As we have already noted, a genuine response to the gospel includes repentance and faith. This means that repentance and faith is not about saying a prayer, shedding a tear, or even a child raising their hand in response to a gospel invitation. What is it? It is a turning from sin that starts with conviction and results in a belief in Christ as the Son of God in the flesh who died, was buried, and who rose again to take away sins. It is something that results in the embracing of Jesus as Lord and becoming His disciple.
How do we know when this has happened? We pray. We preach. We wait. We wait to see if their is growth, change, and understanding in our children. We give room for grace and trust in the sovereignty of God to reveal Himself and to bring salvation in His timing.
I close with this final thought: Salvation is of the Lord. As a parent, do not try to be an armature providence in regards to your children's salvation. Preach, pray, wait, and let God be God.