1.Spiritual Intimacy. This is like water for a plant. Water is necessary for the very life of the cells. Ladies and Gentlemen, spiritual intimacy is the very life of your marriage. If this is not there, then your marriage will wither and die. This means that both the husband and wife have to be walking with God. If you are walking with God then you will be fulfilling your biblical roles. These roles are spiritual in nature. In fact, let's take a look at Ephesians 5 for a minute.
Husbands, you are to sanctify, wash, and make your wife clean with the word, just as Christ delivers the church from sin, guilt, and pollution. What does the phrase, “Washing of water in connection with the spoken word” mean? Water refers to baptism, but it is not the rite of baptism that saves, it is the washing of water in connection with the spoken word” that it is used as a means of sanctification and cleansing. This spoken word is not referring to the baptism formula. This spoken word is the gospel itself. What we see here is the meaning of baptism. It signifies a cleansing that the gospel brings. It shows that throughout life, this cleansing happens through the gospel. Jesus cleanses his church in order to present her to himself in brilliant purity. Now, the church is Christ bride in essence. She has not yet been made manifest in all her beauty. The wedding is a matter of the future, when Christ comes back at the end of the age.
Wives, you are a reflection of the church by your submission. This is a spiritual issue; thus the phrase, "as to the Lord." You are to do this as part of your obedience to the Lord. If you are going to have spiritual unity and intimacy in your marriage, you must be living this out. No husband can connect to a defiant wife, just as no wife can connect spiritually to a spineless or overbearing husband.
2.Emotional Intimacy. This is becoming soul mates (yes, I know- Kip Dynamite).This is the pruning aspect of marriage. When a plant is pruned, it affects all aspects of it an enables more growth. In the same way, emotional connection and stability in marriage makes everything else blossom.
Ladies- remember remember, remember: the male ego is fragile. You have to talk to us like Abileen does Mae Mobley in the movie The Help- "you is kind, you is smart, you is important." That is why it is so necessary that you have a gentle and quiet spirit. This verse refers to your demeanor and disposition, which should also be reflected in your words. This gentle and quiet spirit basically means to avoid cantankerous grumbling. In other words, don’t nag! It can also be applied to what you say to your husband. Don’t talk down to him, don’t get defensive. If you need to correct him, do it with a gentle spirit, understanding that he is still your head. Respect us, affirm us, brag on us.
Sex in marriage is also meant to reduce sexual temptation. The reducing of sexual temptation means greater intimacy in marriage. We definitely live in a sexually charged culture. We are bombarded with it at every turn. The propensity for sexual sin from adultery in the heart to adultery in the actions is immense. Paul actually speaks of this issue in 1 Cor. 7:1-4. He says that because of sexual temptation, the husband and wife shouldn't refrain from sex very long. This means that the husband and wife should have sex often. The continual practice of deep, pleasurable sex consistently keeps both spouses focused on finding their sexual fulfillment only in their covenant.
Sex in marriage produces mutual ownership. In 1 Cor. 7:3-4, Paul talks about how the husband’s body is not his own to do what he wishes, nor is the wife’s body her own to do as she wishes. This means that both the husband and wife should seek to give themselves fully and willingly to sex. It means that there is to be an unreserved surrender and giving oneself away in the act of sex with your spouse. It is where the wife gives herself fully to the husband, and the husband gives himself fully to the wife. It means that the husband doesn't just seek to find his own pleasure in the act, but seeks his wife’s enjoyment as well. This means that when viewed correctly, sex is meant to be one of the most selfless acts of love, as well as one of the most self-giving acts of love. Such a picture is indicative of how fully Christ gave himself to the church, and how fully the church is to give herself to Christ.
Sex in marriage produces a unique experience of communion between the husband and wife. The act of sex is what is meant to join the husband and wife together. When done throughout the years of marriage, sex serves as a consistent means of expressing commitment to one another. In consistently engaging in sex, the husband and wife are telling one another that they are committed to one another, and one another alone. In sex, couples communicate their love for each other in a way that is not shared with another person on earth. Sex, therefore, is a constant renewal of the marital covenant between the husband, wife, and God.